The Long Night

And the long night’s darkness obscures our light

Yet the sun burns strongly beyond our sight

With each day passing it’s glory will reveal

That the circle ever turns on this great wheel

Goddess

And there was light on her face

The sun cutting across her eyes

She the picture of grace

And wisdom epitomized

And there was light from her soul

The sun emanating from within

Collecting all the world's beauty

On her delicate skin

And I could not walk on

Nor even fully behold

Her eminence - Her strength

Her perfect body wrapped around her old soul

I could only bow

Humbly fold

Before Goddess

Before Goddess

Before Goddess

Flash of Insight

She travels to that nameless place

With a question that seeks an answer

Humbly bowing before the veils

Of time - of space - of human condition

And with swift deliverance transparency arises

Darkness out of light -Light out of darkness

Then dissipating in a flash - before it is truly beheld

Leaving only an imprint of something magickal

Warrior

Stillness
Behind quiet eyes
Revealing nothing
A warrior
Low in stance
At the ready
A resignation
Unfaltering
A strength
Penetrating
I am

Home Sweet Home

My boyfriend and I have been renting a house together for almost 7 years.  The whole time I’ve been here I have kept myself at a distance in terms of allowing myself to really feel at home.  The reasons were primarily because we don’t own the home and also because for a long time I didn’t think we would stay for very long.  It’s a great house and I do love it, however, I’m not so fond of the busy road that we are on and therefore always felt this place was a temporary dwelling.  So, while we are both pretty much clean freaks and keep the place nice, I have been ever resistant when it comes to any upgrades.  Well it took me long enough, but I have finally come to the obvious conclusion that whether I own this home or not, it is the place that I spend a lot of my time… particularly since I work from home!  So this week we painted ‘my room’ - the one where I teach and practice guitar and pretty much spend my days.  We bought bookshelves and organized my small hoarders collection of stuff, added new blinds and more ambient lighting.  This room is now absolutely Zen.  I feel such great energy in here today; I feel more at peace and have a heightened mental clarity.  I am looking forward to becoming creative in this space… writing music etc.  I hope also that my students may thrive more in this room.  

The greater conclusion that I have come to through this lesson, and it is one I’ve known on other levels yet did not equate it to this case, is that even if I owned this house… I would not own this house!  None of us can own anything in this universe.  It is not ours to be owned.  Not even our bodies are ours as they will ultimately die off, wither away and feed the planet, taking on a new purpose.  Everything is in a state of change at all times and it is futile to try to hold on to something…  to attempt to take on ownership of something.  It’s the old lesson of non-attachment, which states that suffering is alleviated by attainment of this position.  At the same time, we must treat all things and all moments in our time here with the utmost care, even though they are transient.  Just as we should take care of our bodies even though they will eventually live no more, we should also take care of the spaces that we dwell, filling them with the energy that we want to be surrounded by.  Home is not defined by ones name being written on a deed… I am home now - and I am grateful.

The Grass is the Same Shade of Green on the Other Side

I have recently acknowledged that for perhaps the first time (at least in my adult life) I am completely content with where I am in life.  That is not to say that I do not strive for continual growth and betterment, nor does it mean that my life is ‘perfect’.  Rather, it means that I am satisfied with where I am and feel confident that I am moving in the right direction.  It seems simple enough, but for most people, myself included, this state of ‘being’ is quite elusive.  It is the old ‘grass is greener on the other side’ trap.  This feeling of out there being better than right here can easily permeate every facet of ones life.  For many years this illusion weighed heavily on me.  I spent much of my life obsessed with goal-oriented achievements, constantly striving for the next level, feeling sure that once I reached the goal it would unlock some hidden wonder of life… namely happiness… you know, the one everyone else seems to experience.  Well, when one goal didn’t bring with it the anticipated glory, surely it would be found at the completion of the next goal... And so it went….  Well, I have no intention of changing this goal-oriented behavior, but I do have the intention of being in the moment each step toward each goal…  Knowing that nothing but it’s completion lay waiting at the other side.  The other side is exactly the same as this one….  The trick is to be content in spite of your place on the cycle.  There is no outrunning that which is circular, simply stand still… and be.

Fallen Angel

Interlacing fingers

Folded

Head bowed

She’d pray for the secrecy of thoughts spoke too loud

But these secrets, they pressed themselves to her face like a shroud

And her hands again clasped

Nightly the tears would follow

With whispers to ears

Perched in the visible hollow

Listening and lilting

Under the heavy burdens lain

Sharing each pursuit of undressing the shame

And tomorrow she will sing again

In volume-less repetitive phrase

That the knife laid upon her would not cut but only graze

In loving memory of John McGovern

He came heart blazing into this world… Into my life

And I craved a piece of his glory

Hoped to be warmed by his radiance

As we all did

Having the sense to sense greatness

The consciousness to be among uniqueness

While we stood witness, he articulated his truth

To those who were at times afraid or unable to listen

With complete lack of censorship

For better or worse

And he sung his songs and wrote of his musings

Trying to purge the demons

Attempting to put image to pain

With a distinctive contradiction of excited desperation

Living fully while dying slowly

But his light never dimmed somehow... even now

Some are simply inextinguishable

Too devastatingly vivid to be dulled by death

And I’ll forever be grateful for having glimpsed such rarity

For having been loved by him

Having been utterly and immeasurably affected by him

He leaves us all bathed in tears of what could have been

Wishing we had more time…

To laugh at his unpredictable humor

To blush at his purposeful indiscretions

To feel inspired by the elation in his smile…

The passion in his soul

But through our tears there is acknowledgement…

That while we hurt…

He hurts no more

Peace is finally and forever upon you my dear sweet friend

Pain's Embrace

She curled herself tightly into her own embrace

Head hanging

Heart craving

She said she couldn’t wait for you to change

Head hurting

Heart sinking

She would never know again your taste

Head heavy

Heart lonely

She would not let go of mournful cries

Head grieving

Heart writhing

She could still see the pain screaming from your eyes

Head shaking

Heart breaking

She would never accept this final fate

Head seething

Heart bleeding

She curled herself tightly into her own embrace